I need to get past my frustrations

This morning I volunteered at the local Food Bank. After single handedly stacking over 12 thousand pounds of food on to pallets, I drove straight to the gym where I participated in 90 minutes of the most depressing display of jiu jitsu I have even seen. I had a great warm up and hopped I could parlay that into a good training session and rolling. Boy was I wrong.

Today's class focused on 2 butterfly guard passes to side control. One with your opponent's guard open and another with you inside leg in their half guard locked. The unlocked version starts when you enter their guard from a standing position and immediately grasp their gi chest high, while putting pressure on their thigh with your front leg. Your outside leg is completely outside of their guard. Your opponent tries to hook your leg with their inside leg. You push that leg out of the way with your outside hand while lifting your guarded leg high and over the leg you pushed down. Your lg will land outside of their body  with the knee on belly. As your opponent shrimps away to move away from your knee, you drop to side control.

The leg locked variation is the same except that you need to release your leg from their grasp by putting the same pressure of their knee while rotating your knee parallel to the floor and sliding your leg out.

If took me all day to comprehend those simple tasks. The funny thing is, if I had to write about the technique 5 minutes after being shown, I could have done so. I know what to do but I keep screwing up the execution.

My frustrations continued when it was time to roll. My first partner was a 1 stripe white belt whom I had 70 lbs over. Our 2 of our 3 matches ended in stale mates though I would have lost on points. I kept making stupid mistakes like leaving my arm out for the taking. Allowing my ankle to be trapped for the sweep. And not bridging or maintain hip control. I could go on and on.

Next up was a purple blue belt who too me to arm lock school. 2 armbars and a kimura along with a gi choke for good measure. Last up was a purple belt. I got caught in a freakin crucifix choke that I saw comming 20 seconds before it happened and couldn't do anything about it. He was able to execute whatever he wanted. It was so bad, the last round he just laid on the ground and dared me to pass his guard without playing and defense beyond rotating.

I feel like I am not making adequate progress. Grant it I am only 9 or 10 classes in, but I thought I would be able to at least defend a little better than I am.

I can hear the violins playing as I type this, but I am depressed about my lack of progress. I hope I have a better Fundamentals class tomorrow.